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Roaring Lambs 11th Annual Christian Writer’s Conference

WRITERS CONF CARD 2016

Have you attended a writers conference lately…or ever?

If you are thinking about writing a book, or have already written a book, writers conferences can be a great resource as well as a fantastic networking opportunity. The Roaring Lambs Annual Christian Writer’s Conference is one of my favorite. This year there is a great line up of presenters including Karol Ladd, Kerby Anderson, Larry Carpenter, Sandi Glahn, Susan Mead, Frank Ball, Jennifer Strickland and a few others. They will all be sharing their insights in their area of expertise when it comes to writing and publishing.

Donna Skell along with the Roaring Lambs Writers Conference Coordinators asked me to join the line up. I was excited to accept their gracious invitation. My topic will be “Building Your Platform”. Here’s a sneak preview of my presentation:  https://www.powtoon.com/c/cupyBRGG2Cn/1/m

Hope you all join us on Saturday, July 16th!

Tina Jacobson

More on Fatherhood with Tim Bayly

Daddy_Tried-baseball.jpgQ: You readily acknowledge the fact that we’ve all had imperfect fathers. What would you say to those who are still blaming their fathers for their own failures?

A: Meditate on the judgement seat of God and try to imagine yourself standing there and complaining to God about the father He gave you. Since Adam, every man’s father has been a real sinner. Think of the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Each was a sinner and their sins are recorded in Scripture. Think of King David. Think of the Apostle Peter.

Recognize that your life will soon be over and you will give an account to God for your stewardship of your fatherhood. On that day, you will not be able to excuse your own failures by pointing your finger at anyone else. Not your father. Not your mother. Not your son. Not your daughter. And certainly not your wife. God will not tolerate your complaining, but also, it’s not manly. Do you really want to spend your life whining?

Q: You make a connection between manhood, sonship and fatherhood. Explain to us why that connection is so important to being a successful father.

A: If I can change the question a little, I didn’t make the connection between manhood, sonship, and fatherhood. God did. He is the One who chose to write His own Fatherhood and Sonship on one half of the race of man and to write motherhood on the other half. Fatherhood and sonship flow from manhood just as motherhood and daughterhood flow from womanhood. Our sex is our destiny given us by God, and He will hold us accountable for our stewardship of that destiny in our sonship and fatherhood.

Q: What can wives do to help their husbands better fulfill their role as fathers? What about sons and daughters, how can they help?

A: Well, this is the million-dollar question, but here are some thoughts.

WIVES: Don’t nag, but pray. Don’t become bitter, but sweeten up. Don’t try to fill in the gaps in you and your children’s emotional lives by doubling down on your own intimacy with your children. Teach your children to honor their father, and honor and submit to him yourself without complaining or giving subtle looks that tell your children your resentment. Explain to your husband that you wonder if he loves you because real love between a man and his wife is as emotionally intimate as it is physically intimate. Ask your husband to go with you to meet with the pastor; tell him that there are some things you’d like the pastor’s help explaining to him. Don’t baby him. Ask questions that are open-ended. Study him. Learn his fears.

Pray for your husband. Neither parade nor hide his failures. Don’t use your emotional intelligence to show him up in front of your children. Let him make mistakes. Sometimes, you’ll be surprised to find out he was right. Many men learn fatherhood by watching their wife’s motherhood and doing what helps and strengthens and protects her.

SONS AND DAUGHTERS: Pray for your father. Each day, make sure you tell him you love him and give him a sincere smile. Both sons and daughters should do these things. Obey your father. Speak to him respectfully and don’t ever play your mother off against him. When he says no, don’t go to your mother and get a yes. Fatherhood is very hard work. God is the Pattern for that work so fathers never stop seeing their failures. Encourage them in their work.

For more information visit https://DaddyTriedbook.com

Helping Fathers Part 2

Part 2 of Q&A with Tim Bayly, author of Daddy Tried

timbaylyQ: Your father was a notable author and pastor and you freely draw from your family experiences throughout the book. What are a couple of things that you learned about fatherhood through his example?

A: I was the second of five brothers. Three of them died – one from leukemia, one cystic fibrosis, and my older brother from a Christmas sledding accident. Watching both of my parents deal with their pain while maintaining an unwavering faith though it all was instrumental in shaping my idea of fatherhood. My remaining brother and I grew up hearing them say they were never as certain of God’s love as when they walked away from the fresh grave of one of their children.

Secondly, recognizing Dad’s love for me when he kicked me out of his house. I was nineteen and one Saturday morning he quietly said to me, “Tim, you are not honoring God and you may not live in my home any longer.” I tell the longer version in the book, but Dad never loved me more faithfully than that day, and I came to learn what it meant to fear the Lord above yielding to the fears of men.

Q: Obviously, your family had a personal experience with grief. What would you say to fathers who have been crippled by personal loss of a loved one?

A: Grief is hard work that must not be avoided. If it is avoided, you and your loved ones will pay a steep price. Mourn. Shed tears. Be weak and be quiet. Take your grief to God in prayer. Get good at noticing how God uses your suffering to help others. Suffering is a gift from the hand of our loving Heavenly Father. Thank God for His care for you and your loved ones because giving thanks will inoculate you against bitterness.

Q: What is the most important advice that you would give to a young father today?

A; Don’t be afraid. Our Heavenly Father specializes in making the stupid wise, the weak strong, and the fearful bold as lions. You are the perfect man to be the husband of your wife and the father of your children. Throw out your video games, drop out of fantasy football, stop looking at Facebook, close your laptop, confess your sin to your elders, ask them to pray for you, then enjoy your kids.

Q: Apart from a man’s personal responsibility to his own children, what would you say to any man about his role in society and how he can help shape the next generation of fathers?

A: Be willing to take responsibility outside your home. Serve as an elder or deacon of your church and take responsibility for guarding God’s truth as well as the souls in your congregation.

Outside your home and church, if there’s an accident and someone needs help, step in and do what is needed. Give to the poor. Help the widows and orphans. Protect the weak and defenseless from the attack of the wicked. Always speak up in defense of God and His truth, and do it cheerfully. Remember that everywhere you go you are being copied and followed by other men who are learning to be fathers themselves.

Whether or not God has blessed him with children, father is what every man is and his fatherhood is needed as much outside the home as it is inside the home.

For more information please visit https://DaddyTriedbook.com

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Fathers and Failure

A Q&A with Tim Bayly the author of Daddy Tried

Tim_pic.jpgQ: What motivated you to write the book? What do you hope it will accomplish in the hearts of readers?

A: I primarily wanted to encourage fathers. Fathers won’t be able to avoid failure. Just look at our Old Testament fathers Noah, Abraham, Lot, Jacob, and King David. The Bible documents their failures with painful specificity, yet God’s grace was sufficient for each of them, and it’s sufficient for us.

Many young men have a tendency to underrate failure. Failure is a wonderful teacher and it makes us humble. But when we are controlled by a fear of failure, we don’t take risks and fatherhood is all about risk. So I wanted to address the idea of failure head on and encourage men to get to know God the Father and to copy His fatherhood. Yes, of course we will fail, but faith in our Lord Jesus will help us fail in the right direction.

Q: In your opinion, what is the greatest challenge facing the family in our culture today?

A: The authority of fathers and mothers is being displaced by the state. God made fathers and mothers to be the “natural sovereigns” over their children, but sadly, government is becoming increasingly intrusive within the family unit and usurping the authority delegated to Dad and Mom by God Himself.

Q: A lot of books have been written about fatherhood. What makes this one unique?

A: Daddy Tried starts with the fatherhood of God. It doesn’t try to give fathers a bunch of do-this-and-don’t-do-that rules but teaches fathers the character of the Father Almighty and calls men to model their fatherhood after His example. It doesn’t promise success. It promises failure, but at the same time shows from Scripture that we must, by faith, fail in the right direction.

Q: There are a lot of fathers who are physically present within their homes, but emotionally and spiritually absent. What is the best way to begin the process of facilitating their engagement?

A: Preach the Bible and lead worship in a manly way. Checking out emotionally and spiritually is often the result of a man not believing his manhood is needed. Nothing communicates the uselessness of manhood more than worship liturgies and music that are aimed at pleasing the women of the church. It’s the same with preaching. If a church’s preaching is safe; if it communicates that there is no danger now or eternally; if the pastor does not admonish and rebuke and discipline men, but only flatters them; the men of the church are going to save their masculine engagement for places where there are risks and people don’t want his manhood. Emotional and spiritual absence is the way men respond to wives and pastors who hate manhood.

Put danger and eternal consequences back into your preaching. Preach grace and law, justice and mercy, right and wrong, good and evil, Heaven and Hell, circumcision of the foreskin and circumcision of the heart. Tell the disengaged man in your church that you want him to live for God regardless of the cost in terms of respectability, financial success, and good vibes with his wife. Then watch him become emotionally and spiritually present, first at church, and then at home. I know this sounds crazy, but try it.

For more information visit https://DaddyTriedbook.com

April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month

April is National Sexual Assault Awareness month, as well as National Child Abuse Prevention month, survivor Shannon Deitz speaks out on the pervasiveness of sexual assault nationwide.

Sexual violence, including child sexual abuse, spans across all ages, genders, races, ethnicities, and economic backgrounds. According to a Child Maltreatment report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Children’s Bureau, 60,956 cases of child sexual abuse were reported in the United States in 2013. On top of the guilt and shame that abuse can bring, most victims know their attackers, which can lead them to be silent about their traumatic experience. Staying silent, however, does not lead to healing, according to Shannon Deitz, abuse survivor and founder of Hopeful Hearts Ministry. Below is a Q&A with Deitz on this important topic.

about shannon2

Q: What do people need to understand about sexual assault and child abuse? How have these tragic crimes continued to take place and have they grown over the past 5 years?

A: Both sexual assault and child abuse are issues that render discomfort and disbelief when discussed. In both instances it takes an extensive amount of courage to speak up and tell someone what has happened or is going on in the home. The stigma of shame and displace guilt often keep the victim quiet and in fear.

However, the more we can bring awareness to both issues, especially during Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention month, the louder survivors can be with their stories, and the more prevalent the issue can become in the public eye. The statistics (from what is reported) rarely change. 1 out of 6 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime and 15% of them will be under the age of 12 the first time they are assaulted. Often when one is assaulted the shame and guilt are embedded so deep that their defenses become lower and they find themselves in the same situation repeatedly throughout their lifetime.

Child abuse is more difficult to determine the true statistics because those reporting the abuse are often outside of the home, however still, 3.6 million referrals are made a year.

These crimes continue to remain stagnant in numbers because it is inherently a difficult, uncomfortable subject which forces us to pay attention and react and respond instead of turning a blind eye when we notice something out of the ordinary, or when a friend admits to an assault.

One young man confided when he was a freshman in college and rushing a fraternity he walked out of the bathroom at his frat house’s party to find a line of his ‘brothers’ waiting to ‘rape’ a young woman in the bedroom. While he didn’t participate, he also didn’t do anything to help the young woman. To do something would have meant to take a stand, to cause waves, and people instinctively shy away from confrontation. Yet that moment missed to help her still haunts the young man today.

These crimes are not fading, however, and the more we continue to bring awareness the better chance those listening to other survivors’ stories will be apt to recognize the abuse they are suffering and want to speak out, and or make safer decisions. In bringing awareness we offer the opportunity for survivors to speak out and help others to know that they are not alone and to inform generations to come, encouraging them to get beyond the discomfort of confrontation. *statistics taken from RAINN and Child Help

Q: What do people need to understand about survivors of abuse?

A: Survivors of abuse, both male and female, are not fragile individuals. They are strong, worthy individuals who have overcome a great amount of suffering whether it was physical, sexual, or verbal. Every single form of abuse affects the person emotionally, lowering their self-esteem and sense of worth. Often survivors hide or bury the facts and the deep effects of the abuse out of fear, shame, and lack of support. The best way for a survivor to heal from the affects of the abuse is to give a voice to what has been done or said to them; to be heard and to know they are supported and loved.

Q: What has inspired you to reach out to others?

A: I am a survivor of rape and incest. The years I kept the facts of these traumas within me led me down some dark paths that were filled with bad decisions based on my lack of worth and self-esteem. I want to educate and reach out to other survivors before they get entangled in that dark path and make decisions that can affect them for the rest of their life, adding to the trauma of what has been done or said to them in the past.

Q: Why do you feel it is important for you to share your story?

A: When I began to live my life in the freedom of being a survivor, no longer tethered to chains of negativity, pessimism, and insecurity, I realized how much I longed to see others free from these same chains. I knew the only way to reach others was to tell my story in its truth and entirety. What affected me in my healing process was to hear other stories similar to mine and to witness their successful triumph and victory overcoming their past. I began to realize if they could do it, I could too. I want to share both the stumbling and the victories so that others can relate and recognize that they can also be victorious over their past.

Q: How has sharing your story with others helped you in your journey to healing?

A: The more you share the truth about your experience the easier it is to accept it and move passed it in order to embrace your present and future. By sharing my story through speaking to groups and leading retreats, I find that it gives me strength and fortifies the healing process. What has been ‘done’ to me is a part of who I am, but it doesn’t define who I am. In fact, I’ve come to the place where I can thank God for every aspect of my life, the dark and ugly moments, along with the joyous times, because He has brought good from it all and allowed me to recognize that I am stronger because of it.

Q: Low self-esteem, especially among teens, has become a national epidemic. What do you want someone struggling with feelings of low self-worth to understand?

A: My instinct is to respond, “You are worthy! You are unique and there is no one else in this world just like you and this world needs you and the skills and talents YOU have because each one of us has been given a specific purpose to use these talents and gifts and no one can replace you.”

But I also have been in a place that I have felt extreme unworthiness and insecurity. I know that if I heard someone say that I’d doubt what those talents or gifts were, because I wasn’t like everyone else. To that I say, “Would being like everyone else make you happy? Would going against who you are, what sparks interest and joy inside of you just to get others attention bring you joy? Most likely not.”

In this day and age of social media, self-worth is defined by the number of followers we have on Instagram or how many ‘likes’ they give to your posts. It is important to realize that those are numbers and most of those people have so many numbers because they ‘follow’ and ‘like’ everyone just to get more numbers. When it comes down to knowing you, who knows you best?

You, my friend, are worthy of life and others would be so lucky to know you, who you really are and share in the gifts and talents you’ve been given.

Q: What is your goal with Hopeful Hearts Ministry and what motivated you to start it?

A: Hopeful Hearts Ministry strives to help those who have suffered abuse not just survive, but to thrive.

When I was called into speaking on a national and international level on various topics regarding faith, the most popular message I gave, the one that resonated best with audiences at least, was when I spoke of my own personal journey, the abuse I incurred and how I overcame the stigma of shame attached.

As the years progressed and my voice became stronger, God led me to more and more opportunities to work with survivors of all ages, especially those in my generation and generations ahead of me who were taught to keep skeletons in the closet. It became very clear that there was a desperate need to empower all survivors to have a voice, to educate the world on what abuse is, to teach others how to listen to those who have suffered abuse, and to learn how to stop the generational cycle of abuse. In 2012 a dear friend of mine said to me, “Why don’t you start a non-profit? Think what more you could do.” Hence, Hopeful Hearts Ministry was formed.

Hopeful Hearts Ministry is a 501 c3 National Non-Profit.

www.HopefulHeartsMinistry.com

Hopeful Hearts Ministry Provides a Voice for Survivors

Screen Shot 2014-04-01 at 9.45.44 AMApril has been designated as National Sexual Assault Awareness month, as well as National Child Abuse Prevention month in recognition of the pervasiveness of sexual assault nationwide. Sexual violence, including child sexual abuse, spans across all ages, genders, races, ethnicities, and economic backgrounds. According to a Child Maltreatment report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Children’s Bureau, 60,956 cases of child sexual abuse were reported in the United States in 2013. On top of the guilt and shame that abuse can bring, most victims know their attackers, which can lead them to be silent about their traumatic experience. Staying silent, however, does not lead to healing, according to Shannon Deitz, abuse survivor and founder of Hopeful Hearts Ministry.

“Both sexual assault and child abuse are so devastating to most of us that we don’t even want to think about them being present in our society,” Deitz says. “This makes it difficult for any victim of assault or abuse to feel comfortable enough to speak out, which is exactly what they need to be able to do. Be it a child, a teenager or an adult, anyone who has been abused needs to be able to speak about what has been done to them without question or judgment.” With this in mind, Hopeful Hearts Ministry started the “I Have a Voice” abuse awareness project where survivors share their personal stories of abuse (domestic, sexual, incest, rape, neglect, emotional and verbal) through intensely personal and honest YouTube videos. The videos show the power of giving a VOICE to survivors that was once kept hidden, and not only aides in their personal healing, but shows others they are not alone and there is reason for hope.

Deitz has the unfortunate firsthand experience of being a survivor of sexual abuse both as a child and as an adult. She sees the month of April as an opportunity to encourage other survivors to speak up and speak out, knowing that it is a crucial step towards healing. “The shame, despair and inability to cope with the painful events can lead to depression as well as dangerous behavior, as survivors tend to seek other ways to block out the memories and dull the pain.” comments Deitz. “My main goal is to help others see their worth and become the best they can be.” Through the power of her own testimony, she helps people see that they no longer have to live as a victim, but are worth so much more.

For those who know someone who has been abused or assaulted, she encourages them to be good listeners. “Survivors want to know they are being heard and that they will be safe and protected,” she explains. “We do not need to be silenced because our situation makes others feel uncomfortable. To the contrary, we need people around us who are willing to listen and willing to stand up for us if we choose to go public.” April is important because the more people who become aware of just how prevalent this problem is in our country, the more beneficial it will be for everyone. Being able to share our story with others serves to help prevent future abuse from taking place. If there is a survivor in your midst, be willing to listen. Be willing to hear their story.”

Deitz’s willingness to share her story in her award-winning book, Exposed: Inexcusable Me, Irreplaceable Him, as well as listen to other survivor’s stories through the Hopeful Hearts Ministry, has created hope and a safe place for abuse survivors of all ages and backgrounds.

Mary from Canada shares, “I am blessed and thankful for the support I received and continue to receive from Hopeful Hearts Ministry. It’s a good feeling knowing that no matter how rough my road to healing may be, I always have genuine caring support.”

The “I Have a Voice” videos are opening new doors for Hopeful Hearts Ministry outreach. After watching the video ‘Child Sexual Abuse and Forgiveness’, a gentleman personally contacted Deitz in appreciation. “Your sharing of your story, your truth, was very powerful. It really hit home and I was moved by your honesty, courage, and willingness to stand up for and speak out on behalf of the abused child. Your ministry is powerful, important, and needed.” Deitz continues reaching out to those who are struggling through her speaking engagements, blog, Just Show Up, and ministry website.

www.HopefulHeartsMinistry.com

I Have a Voice

Nicky Gumble featured speaker for Empowered 21 Europe Congress

Europe is in crisis. London 2016 carries the promise of unity and the explosion of the Holy Spirit across the continent.    Dr. Billy Wilson

london2016-event-banner1Empowered21 has announced an inaugural European Congress (London 2016) to be held in London May 11-13, 2016. The event will be held in the historic Gaumont State Theater, which is currently occupied by Ruach City Church and Nicky Gumble will be a featured speaker.

“We believe God is preparing the hearts of those in Europe for an awakening of the Holy Spirit,” said Empowered21 President and Global Co-Chair William M. Wilson. “It is our prayer that this Congress will allow thousands of European citizens and refugees to experience the power and presence of the Holy Spirit.”

London 2016 will bring together world-renowned Spirit-empowered speakers and worship artists for a three-day Pentecost celebration. Afternoon sessions will incorporate new e-talks on each of the following topics: “New Neighbors-Migrant Opportunities,” “Amazing Grace,” “Raising a Family in the 21st Century,” “Healing and Miracles Today,” “Real Talk with the Next Generation,” and “Living in the Power of the Holy Spirit.” A Discipleship training seminar and a Next Gen Emerging Leaders meeting will also be held during the Congress.

Additionally, a pre-congress scholar’s consultation will host distinguished global scholars from premier universities around the globe to collaborate in addressing grace and the Spirit-empowered movement in the 21st Century church.

“The Pentecostal movement experienced a turning point in Jerusalem at the Empowered21 Global Congress,” said Empowered21 Europe Cabinet Co-chair and Ruach City Church Bishop John Francis. “Church leaders from across Europe have been challenged to empower the next generation.”

Registration is now open for London 2016, which will occur during the week of Pentecost. The Empowered21 Global Council and members of the Europe Cabinet have invited believers from around the world to attend the conference.

To register or find additional information about London 2016,

visit www.empowered21.com/london-2016

London 2016 will be the first Empowered21 regional event held in Europe.
Watch Nick Hall talk about London 2016.

Nicky Gumbel is Vicar of HTB in London, one of the largest Church of England churches in the UK with a regular Sunday attendance of around 4,500 people – most aged between 18 and 35. He is the pioneer of Alpha, a 15-session introduction to the Christian faith now running all over the world. He is also Vice President of Tearfund, a UK Christian relief and degelopment agency working with a global network of local churches to help eradicate poverty and transform lives.

Nicky Gumbel has written a number of best-selling books. Questions of Life – the Alpha course in book form – has sold more than a million copies worldwide. The booklet Why Jesus? and its sister publication Why Christmas? have sold more than four million copies.

About Empowered21
Empowered21 aims to help shape the future of the global Spirit-empowered movement throughout the world by focusing on crucial issues facing the movement and connecting generations for intergenerational blessing and impartation. Their vision is that every person on Earth would have an authentic encounter with Jesus Christ through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit by Pentecost 2033. Get more information at www.empowered21.com. Empowered21 is a Kingdom initiative served by Oral Roberts University, www.oru.edu.